Revival

How does one begin to understand the ebb and flow of religious fervor? It amazes me that sometimes in my own life it seems like God is more real than the visible world around me, and at other times, I'm not even conscious of his presence. I've had times in my life where every day was a fresh encounter with him, and then there were months of spiritual distance where it seemed the only times I sensed his presence were for a fleeting moment in the midst of the congregation.

And that's the scary part of it all. The people I serve do not know when my relationship with God is in either state. They can't see when I am struggling any better than when I am basking in the warmth of his love. Am I being disingenuous when I live this way? Or is this "just the way it is," and I need to get on with life?

This semester, I am preparing for my seminar on the History of Evangelism and Church Growth. Assigned reading includes works by Jonathan Edwards, Charles Finney, and Charles Haddon Spurgeon. The Finney work really triggered (or came during) a time of spiritual renewal for me. To recount the details, I made a gaff during my sermon a couple of weeks back. It was not a huge issue for anyone that I know of except me. God really convicted me about it, so I apologized to the congregation. Needless to say, that little slip was the beginning of a time of humbling spiritual correction in my life guided by the Holy Spirit. I also began reading Experiencing Revival by Finney at the same time. The call to personal holiness coincided with my time of instruction. No other human being dealt with me during this time; only God the Holy Spirit.

For the first time in a long time, I have experienced a renewed relationship with God. My prayer life is more open. It hurts for me to sin against God. I actually fight against temptation. My sensitivity to the Holy Spirit is more acute. I'm being more direct in my preaching. I love my wife and children differently. I find myself telling God's people that I love them, and that I am grateful for them.

I think a good word for all this is revival.